Lost and Found in 2008

2008 has been a long year for me. I've experienced my first year as a foundation student in university. Met different people, different learning environment, the usual ups and downs, missing my buddies who left Kuching for further studies etc... Oh well, may be its not so long after all. After 11 months of 3 semester, I've finished my foundation course. I've been slacking off ever since last semester's final exams was over. Throughout the year, I've been thinking on the same stuff over and over again both about academic and personal issues and frequently contradicting myself. What should I do next? Whats the cause and effect of that choice? Should I stay or should I go? etc. These questions has been lingering in my head over the whole year, unanswered, perhaps even longer for some questions. Day after day, the same daily routines: school, lecturers, assignments, presentations, home, chores. Time just goes by as it should be. At some point I felt very insecure of my future for the choices I've made and also troubled by some personal issues. Frustration and fear. Slowly, what I felt was pure emptiness, futile, vain. I've lost sight of what I want, my target, my purpose....... More importantly I've lost sight of my faith. Slowly straying away from God. I pray less, stopped reading the bible. Although, knowing that I need to repent, I still find different excuses for myself. I frequently find something else to keep myself occupied but everything seems meaningless in the end. I realized I need something strong. Something that can remind me that HE is my refuge, I need to find his light and in God there's answers, HE can lead me to what I seek. I need to hear HIS words again. So I decided to join this year's year end church camp which I skipped last year. It was the only possible church related activity my parents will probably allow me to take part in. Although it'll not be easy to get approval from my parents. But thank God that they've signed the form and gave me the green light. Although its not very green but hey, I get to join anyway. Thanks to all the committee of the camp, the pastors, the people I met in the camp, my group and of course my old best buddies who were there too, Michelle, Ing Noh and Wei Ting. I'm so blessed to have you guys as friends. I had a wonderful time. Too bad out of the gang there's only 4 of us joined the camp, but blessed them too. Anyway, I've found my way back to God and had some of my questions answered. Throughout this camp, I just realized I've changed in some way from the previous years. Perhaps people do change through time. However, Lord please forgive me for lying to my parents and all the sins I've done. Lord please continue to guide me. I'll remember that you are my Savior and thank you for everything You've blessed me with. May your love reign in our hearts forever. Amen. I Hope someday I could convince my parents too. In the mean time, I hope I can spend more time doing something meaningful, learn more about the Lord and myself, make my decision for degree and of course hanging out and have fun with my best friends as much as possible. Well, that's all for my first post. :) God Bless everyone. Praise the Lord~ Allelujah Jehovah